Josh Jones turns 40

 On the psychiatrist's couch with Josh Jones. 13th March 2021

Josh: nudity featured a bit in your past. Do you think you could get away with it again?

    Pretty sure some of it would be ruled out as 'inappropriate conduct' even by Prince Andrew.

What is your earliest memory?

Being bashed by my mum. She called it tough love. I'm getting over it now, by punishing her.

You relocated to Qld away from Tasmania, was that for the weather, company, the pay?

I found that when my older brothers left Tas and the majority of them were in Qld, I felt a little bit of loneliness toward them.  They were the only people I knew with equally bad spelling and grammar, so I felt at one with them. With some sort of solidarity in ignorance, we all felt capable of conquering the world.

And did you?

At first, yes. Being a photographer (or 'photogroper') on the Islands gave me a new appreciation of how men are subjugated to women's desires, and that I better guard against that if I was to have the benefit of a level playing field - ie rugby.

So you dressed up and went to University; were you prepared?

Yes. I'd had a difficult time in my own mind, going through high school, I fell behind, and shielded my lack of adherence to what the system required behind a fence of bravado. I did find there were individuals who saw through my shallow exterior and appreciated the potential of a good society member behind.

I gave study a red hot go, choosing to go back to Matric (11/12) even though at that time I was nearly middle aged. I gained rapport with some of the teachers, and found that the liberation of self -responsibility, together with genuine appreciation by some of those teachers that my work was hard won and relatively good.

Did you reconstruct your relationship with your mother?

    We are working on it. She has a little bit further to go yet.

And what of your Dad?

    Deserves another session.

Have you noticed that when analysing people, other people - whether experts or just self -taught (like Jim Paltos) refer to family relationships: what do you think about that?

    Yes, I understand that now. trite phrases like 'we are a total of all the things we have done' don't quite take account of the influence of family. Up the chain, down, sideways. But that isn't the sum of the man either. He or she move from drooling idiot through sieve of information, to carrier for knowledge, to progenitor, then back to drooling idiot. I'm in the 2nd last phase. Mind you, too much rum can hasten the process. With so many things, it is about balance. Keeping your balance after too much rum.

You have been mostly faithful, are you going to continue that?

I've been very fortunate that my heartfelt love for Christine has been returned, and that she is intelligent such as to see through my periodic defective actions. She has taught me to relax and enjoy, to engage and participate, and to love my children. I'd have done it anyway, probably, but she has made it a certainty.

And what about your children Josh?

    Well, provide Felix stops riding his toy car down the steps and crashing into the concrete, I'm hopeful he will be a great influence on his older siblings. They each need the care and love but also not over-cautious treatment. Tough love as mum used to say.

    Nina, well, I'm learning that everyone is an individual, and they take the street that appeals to them at times which suit them. She is bright and sometimes streets ahead, at the same time, might benefit from a little quiet time. 

    And the big boy: Artie, I guess he has the calmness of the eldest, a bit like Matthew my brother, but also has appreciated the freedom extended to him by Christine and me, to debate, disagree, and even to accept reluctantly the heavy force of tough love dealt with randomly by his parents. I have learnt from him that you can progress much quicker and not lose anything sometimes, by accepting authority, and engaging with those in power around you.

Friends Josh: what about that?

    Rightly you raise that. I reflect that on occasion I am a little bit rude, in what I think is a teasing manner, but it might rankle with some of my friends. I guess that they accept me for who I am and that my genuine wish to be with them, and enjoy their company, is appreciated. I don't want to be a suckhole, so I do serve it up to some of the silver-tongue wankers I went to Uni with. Shermo for instance.

But I've got some great friends; Cammo, 

Saxby and Mary. Christine's grandparents Judy and Geoff, Shermo and Emily, even my brothers sometimes, Loris, and many more.

Here is a photo of you with your Uncle Phil, when he was approaching 40 - what does it tell you?

    I wanted to play rug-rugby. I hated it when it was on television and adverts came on an interrupted the flow. I used to cry a bit. I think the Uni rugby team in Tasmania was a great safe house for young boys like me; a big family lasting more than a lifetime and happily welcoming kids to muck around outside, in the bar or changerooms, with a semblance of cultural engagement: demonstrating heart, team spirit, and that everyone has a place in a family, a club, a society. We just have to find them where.

As to Phil, well he has a little bit yet to learn himself. The 'life-work' balance. He needs to get out a bit, and get a few toys. I wish him well in the retirement home, but he would be better buying a yacht and a motorcycle and coming up to visit now and then. On balance, a bit like the Dalai Lama, he taught me many things - how not to do them. I did enjoy that time when we won in the High Court. I think that set me off into the fun and reward of using walking talking language on a platform where it mattered to people.

I did and do very much enjoy my cousins, especially Sarah and Camille (pictured here in the berthing suite - not the humpty dumpty, but the little bald head).

I do love 'the shack' and Bruny Island - talking under-water, jumping off the jetty, and lighting fires.

 

Back to your mum:

    Well, I don't think apology is the right word. But she should seriously consider engaging MinterEllison, where that lady was the CEO until this week, and have a good hard look at herself in the hall of mirrors
. 

I mean, look at me here! It is Matthew's birthday, and I'm trying to attract centre stage.  Wriggling and squirming in the grand-parent's custody. Turned Grandma Gwen's hair white and purple.

What about Uncle Marshall?

    Rightly you ask. I have an estoppel claim against him. He said, if I be the night manager at the Astor for a few years, then I could have it. Well, that little game has yet to play out the full result in the equity court.

    But seriously, when he was 40 he put up a little grey  pony tail to tease everyone. He was also the first to have a man's hand-clutch bag - and now, he has bought into a solid wood 40 foot ketch. So, clearly his influence continues daily to astound. No doubt though his love knows no bounds. I recall that when it was his job to chastise me for painting my bedroom in black gloss oil paint, after I'd sent that 'unprofessional' letter to mum about not liking her very much (I was only 14), he refrained from taking up The Belt, and I escaped unscathed. He let's you find yourself. In this mad world? 

What next Josh?

    Today, the 40th Anniversary, I'm going to enjoy a little excess with my friends and Christine and kids, and share the best of food and refreshment, and reflect on how lucky I am to have survived some of the clashes with authority. Now I have another method to resist oppression, and although not high up on the human rights scale, I am strenuously engaged to prevent the blunt instrument of our society coming down unfairly on the head of those not easily able to protect themselves. 

Mum for example.

Here is an image of Ronnie in a strait jacket. Still laughing. See what I mean?

If you had to picture yourself in a movie, what would it be?

    A Clockwork Orange. Down in the gutter with the smelly old degenerates

Love to Josh as he turns into the chrysalid on 13th March 2021